Car Seat Safety

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Rachael: Welcome to the No One Told Us podcast. I'm Rachel and today I'm here with a pal from Instagram and TikTok and a fellow Swiftie, which is most important and Jamie Grayson is also an amazing car seat and baby gear safety expert. He started as a product demonstrator and personal shopper at Bye Bye Baby in Manhattan and New York City's top birth education center and then became one of the most well -respected experts in the baby gear and child safety space.
Jamie is now recently, right, dual certified in the U .S. and Canada, in child passenger safety, in both, like I said, the U .S. and Canada, and you're based in Denver, Colorado. So Jamie, thanks for coming on the pod.
Jamie: Howdy. Thanks for having me. Nice to chat in person. and not via Instagram DM.
Rachael: I know, I know. We were both kind of like living over the summer for, because like I said, you're a Swiftie. We both went to the Eras tour. And so at the top of the show, I just have to, we're recording this in November, by the way. So right now there is so much hype around Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. So before we dive into the baby gear stuff, I have to know your thoughts. Is it PR or is it real? Or is it both?
Jamie: Any relationship like that is going to have some kind of like PR component to it because they're remarkably extraordinarily famous people. But I do think it's real. I really do. And like, you know, I'm not as much of a Swiftie as I am. Like, I'm not one of like those Swifties that like analyzes every single thing that she does.
Rachael: No we're not crazy.
Jamie: But this is one of the first times I've seen her publicly acknowledging her partner really like she is right now and I think that says a lot.
Rachael: I totally agree and I think it's also so cool to just see her in this whole new light where she doesn't have to hide the relationship. I think it's just she's having so much fun being able to kind of flaunt this hot guy. I just absolutely love it.
Jamie: She just seems very happy and like when I, because I was at opening night of the concert tour in Arizona.
Rachael: You did opening night. Oh yeah, I was at opening. Oh my god,
and jealous.
Jamie: It was wild. It was wild opening. And we had like 10th row floor seats for it. So we could like see her very well. But she just looked happy. And it, one of the craziest things, because I've been fortunate enough to see the tour twice already, and I'm going again in Miami, but it's, she just doesn't look like she's working. Like, you can tell she's up there having a blast. She's barely sweating. And I think she's hit this stride in her career, where she's just like, it's kind of like Meryl Streep where now she can just do what she wants and have fun with it and do different kinds of roles and do whatever she wants. And it's, I love it.
Rachael: So so true Yeah, it's like she's big enough now or she knows her fans love her so much no matter what she can just do whatever she wants and have fun I absolutely love it. Thanks for indulging me in that question.
Jamie: I'll always talk about Taylor
Rachael: We could just go on and on I'm so happy that she's back on tour now though because the lack of tick tocks was really really upsetting to me for a Couple months there.
Jamie: Do you watch the live streams?
Rachael: Obviously when I had when the time zone works for me because I all have three small children and never sleep. So yeah, but when it works for me, I definitely am on what are the secret songs, post something, please.
Jamie: I love, I don't watch all the streams, but I watch the first one in Argentina. And it was like the energy was needed for those rainy livestreams. And so there is something so comforting about being in the stadium, but it's just like the energy that that tour puts forth. And like, I would, you know, at both shows, I got recognized by a lot of moms and like other Swifties from TikTok and like all of this stuff. But the energy is so happy and welcoming and safe.
Rachael: Yeah. And like, I've never felt safer as a woman in my life.
Jamie: It was wonderful. And like, you know, I'm a 45 year old gay man and I had the time of my life there.
Rachael: And why wouldn't you? You're surrounded by your people.
Jamie: Happy, happy people.
Rachael: Yep, I know. It's just the best.
Jamie: After years of chaos and misery, it's nice to be happy again.
Rachael: It's the best. And if you can't swing going to the concert, like most people obviously are not gonna get to go to the concert, which is why I think it's so incredible that she has put this movie out. So do yourself a favor and get a babysitter, give the baby to your partner and do something to get to go see this movie and just get like a boost of serenity.
Jamie: The movie is so more thrilling. I saw it three times.
Rachael: You're putting me to shame.
Jamie: I when I was in Vancouver, I went and saw it with a friend of mine and we considered ourselves international swifties because we'd now participated in Taylor and in two different countries. So you know, it's, it's elegant..
Rachael: I'm not going to lie. I was looking at the tickets for Paris and also for Scotland. Like, how can I make this a vacation that I also get to go to the concert again?
Jamie: We're planning, we're planning some things.
Rachael: I will live vicariously through you. OK, speaking of TikTok, because you've recently kind of blown up on TikTok, what kind of inspired you to get into not just the car seat and safety space, but what encouraged you to get into this whole like social media thing and do it on there? Because you don't necessarily have to do that to do your job, right? Or do you think?
Jamie: I was very hesitant with TikTok specifically because with my with my social goodness, I built Twitter first and then built I was one of the first Facebook brand pages because when I built my Facebook page brand, it was just allowed for companies to have pages on Facebook. So I was kind of there since the inception of it. When Facebook's really started growing and Facebook is still probably my most, somehow I get like three to four million reach a month on Facebook organically.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We just did our insights and I hit 30 million people this year on Facebook.
Rachael: Oh my gosh, we're going to need to talk because I neglect Facebook thinking that young people are not like moms and stuff are not there anymore, but maybe they are.
Jamie: They are a little bit, but that's what made me get on TikTok because Instagram is fine. But I actually had a long discussion about this last night actually. So this is very fascinating for me. So when I got on TikTok, I was like, I'm not going to do these stupid TikTok dances and like cute edits. I don't know how to do that. I don't have time to do that. But I got on TikTok and then abandoned the platform for like a year. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to get back on here and see what happens. And a few of my videos really hit and took off. And that's when I realized. I looked at my age demographic and 56 % of my audience on TikTok is 18 to 24 years old.

Rachael: Wow, really?
Jamie: And the 18 to like 35 age demographic is probably 70 % of my audience on TikTok. Like it's a very young, parenting age, whatever that means, audience. And... And there's a serious need, as we've now learned, for car seat safety information over there. And I find it very exciting to kind of answer questions over there and the energy is chaotic. And it's also, it is work, but it's not as hard as filming a reel and editing it together and dealing with all that. Like I have 29 car seats in my front room that I can just pull off a shelf and answer questions about. It's needed. A lot of car seat brands aren't even on TikTok.
It's a good way to get safe, correct product information out over there. I love it. It's like a chatroom version of Instagram.
Rachael: Yeah, it's a little less formal.
Jamie: Way less formal. formal. Yeah, and it's just conversation. You just use talk with people on tik tok. I love it
Rachael: Yeah, tiktok I have such a love hate with because some people can just get so unhinged and nasty and you never know Like what you're gonna get when you open that app. Like you said it's this way to connect to like a whole new audience and Really to a new demographic of these newer younger parents who are are utilizing TikTok maybe more than Instagram. So, yeah, I love that you're on there and that you're reaching people because sometimes, as you often will make videos about,
you see these like hacks or like little tips and tricks people try to post about like things to do with your car seat or, you know, their stroller or something and they're so unsafe and those videos go so viral. It's terrifying
Jamie: Just I just had one this morning sent to me and I made a response right before I logged on for this and it is wild this woman has 13 children and You know bless bless But they use a school bus for transportation and there are things in the bus that she's doing She has harnesses in the seats for some of the smaller kids like she's she's doing some right stuff. But then above two of her rear -facing children, she self -mounted a flat -screen television so that her kids could watch that and it's barely hanging on for its life. And like, if that TV fell into her kids, like, and I get it, like, traveling with, like, any kid is not easy, let alone 13.
Rachael: But yeah, I mean, and some things are just not worth the risk, right? - Yeah. - So you just mentioned something actually, we got a question about it. So I'll wait till the end. But what are your general thoughts on like, I know there's a huge debate on social media, which I don't really understand, but there's like the rear facing versus forward facing. Do you max out the age or the weight? or do you, you know, forward face from whatever you want to like, what is your take on that or does it depend on the seat?
Jamie: So we go by what's called best practice with car seat safety. And that's not necessarily the law, to be honest. But by doing best practice, you will always meet the law minimums and then go above that. So, you know, in most states right now, it's still one year and 20 pounds is the law for when you can forward. Mm -hmm.
Rachael: Well, my eyes just bugged out of my head because I have a one -year -old and I cannot even imagine putting her.

Jamie: No way. No way. And, you know, some states the law is two years, but a lot of these car seats now, height ranges are always a little bit different on car seats, but a lot of car seats go 40 to 50 pounds rear facing now. now. And so you can rear face, we want to at least use two years old is that like bare minimum of rear facing. And then I always told people like anything above that it is kind of like icing: three years is great, four years is wonderful. You know, in Europe, there are car seats that rear their children, five, six years old, seven until they go into a booster seat. Oh, I have one in my house. and it's wonderful. So the whole idea of rear facing, I think what a lot of people don't understand is that when a baby is born, about 25 % of their body weight is in their head. Their neck and their spine is not strong enough to support this extra weight.
It's not stabilized yet. So in a rear-facing seat, if you were in a crash, that shell of that seat is going to move in relationship with your child. and it will stabilize and support their spine and their neck properly and Really take the like bulk of that impact and if you forward face too soon The only thing that's gonna really hold your kid in that car seat is the harness.
So this will be held back and then a head will snap forward and it can lead to some pretty nasty Injuries
Rachael: okay. Yeah, so just don't do it if you don't have to like I never understood that why it's a debate, why people just wouldn't... If it doesn't hurt anything to just keep them rear -facing, I don't get it.
Jamie: And there are things sometimes when we do seat checks that are not ideal with what we have to do to help caregivers leave better than they were. And that's why we kind of go by a good, better, best in how we work with people. And yeah, there have been times we've had to have a check forward facing earlier than what I would want. But it is not my job to make the decision for caregivers. I educate them. I give them my thoughts that help them learn how to do things safer. Go with God.
Rachael: Yeah, truly. I mean, that's kind of what I do with sleep too. I just like, you know, give you the options, tell you what to do to make things as safe as possible. And then really, it's up to you as the parent to make the best choice for your family and what one family chooses is not going to necessarily be what somebody else would choose, but we have to just give parents the information that they need to do their best, right?
Jamie: You know what's interesting? Actually, the post you put up the other day, I was going to comment on it about the play yards. Do you know the sitch up in Canada with play yards? Or like travel cribs and stuff? No.
Jamie: Travel cribs and play yards. So, Health Canada, and this makes no sense, but Health Canada most play yards and travel cribs like that on the market are not approved for sleep.
Rachael: No way.
Jamie: Yeah, you're not allowed. They say like, if you have to travel with something like, here's a safer way to do it. But as a blanket statement, most play yards and travel cribs are not approved for overnight, like unsupervised sleep.
Rachael: Wow. I mean, I'm not even that shocked. We are always kind of behind on this thing in the US, like where, you know, like the rockin' plays and the loungers and stuff like that, like that's all been recalled now. But certain things like weighted sleep sacks, for example, are still allowed to be sold. And they're so unsafe. And yeah, so that doesn't shock me. I mean, when I have used them and when I've tested them, they seem safe to me because they're so firm. Like my kids won't even sleep on them because they're so uncomfortable.
Jamie: And people always ask me to buy extra mattresses and I'm like, you can but you do not. You know. Yeah.
Rachael: And that's I think a big problem with them is that people kind of compromise the safety of them because they have to add all these extras or think they do and yeah, that's really not good because then it's completely unsafe. Like putting blankets in there to thicken it up, putting thick cushy pads. or something like that.
Jamie: Yeah. I mean, companies make mattresses specifically for pack and play. It's like, it tells you only instructions do not use them, you know?
Rachael: I know. It's so, it's so scary to be apparent these days because all of these things are being marketed to you and you just assume that if it's on the market, if it's allowed to be sold, that it's safe and it's not always the case.
Jamie: I look back at my time working. at Bye Bye Baby when I first started and things I sold to parents and things I told parents because at the time, Bye Bye Baby didn't train any of us. I was self -trained on everything and that's how I built my knowledge set. I would read, I would watch videos, I would go to other stores, I would play with everything I could but it is one of those things you assume if it's on the market, it is fine and I sold so many people Aftermarket car seat accessory inserts and strap covers and all this and now I'm just like No, no.
Rachael: Yeah, and I mean, you know better and you do better like you can't beat yourself up for that But it is I do obviously wish that there was more strict Like regulates regulations for these things to actually come to market. So what are some things that you would say to a parent just talking about car seats and stuff? What would you say to a parent who's trying to figure out which car seat is the best to buy? Because there's the infant bucket seats, there's the convertible, there's the ones that swivel, like, is there actually a best car seat? Is it like the most expensive car seat is automatically the best? What are the most important things to remember when they're picking one for the first time?
Jamie: So all car seats on the market have to meet minimum standards. And these are like, it is a self -tested situation and NHTSA does pull seats and test them and if they fail, things happen. But we operate under the assumption that every seat will be safe when used correctly. So the safest seat technically is the one that fits your car, that fits your child, that you can use correctly every single time. But you also need to take into consideration. your budget. And, you know, I know enough about car seats and car seat installation where I would have no problem using a lower price car seat with my child, a $60 car seat I would use with my kid.
But when you start going up in price, you get different features for ease of use and installation. And those can be very, very helpful specifically for people like we look at the revolving car seats now. Those are wonderful tools. And that's, that's what I always refer to the rotating seats as they are a tool for people who have, you know, limited limb mobility, who use a wheelchair for people who have arthritis, you know, anything that's going to hinder them from being able to lift a child into a rear -facing seat. So I do love, I love the revolving seats. I think not all of them are equal to be honest in terms of how easy they are. But, you know, you just have to get a seat that you can use correctly.
And if you want to start with an infant seat, that is great. It is an ease of use feature. And sometimes you will get a little bit better fit for a little bitty newborn. But I always tell people at my speaking events, I'm like, you know, if you are the one buying your stuff, if you're not having like some big baby shower or whatever. and you're going to have to buy your car seats, you have to remember an infant seat is maybe like a nine month window, eight or nine month window, maybe 10 months, maybe you'll get a little more than that. But even though they go to 35 pounds, a lot of them you're not carrying a 35 pound child around in a bucket. It's outrageously heavy and you're going to be using your convertible seat for years. So, really... invest as much as you can in a really good convertible seat that you're going to be comfortable using. And if that means you can budget a little bit more money to make it more user friendly for you, absolutely 100 % do that. You just lose the travel system ability, you know.
Rachael: And honestly, that doesn't work for every baby anyway. Like my, I bought an infant seat thinking like, oh, I want to be able to, you know, if they fall asleep in the car, I want to be able to click them into the street. stroller so we can go for a walk while they finish their nap. Are you kidding me? Like they're waking up the second you unclick those little things and pull like there's just no way. So some babies maybe maybe as a newborn when they're like not waking up for anything, that'll happen. But after a couple of months, that's not happening anyways. So yeah, I agree. The convertible seats are great. And we, we have both just because we have so many damn kids, but we started with just one convertible seat. We have the Clec Foonf and yeah, I still love it. My kid just turned six and he just switched over into their booster. So that convertible seat lasted us nearly six years with him fitting in it and he's a huge kid.
Jamie: My nieces, my nieces were two of the first kids to have that seat.
Rachael: Oh, cool. I love it. Yeah. Actually, we had a really gross incident with it last week because my daughter got sick in the car. She made it to the garage but couldn't make it all the way into the house. So, my next question was going to be about cleaning car seats and storing car seats and things like that because I've heard, you know, different claims all around social media about how if you clean it with the wrong product, it's compromised. Or if you store it a certain way, it's totaled. So what do parents need to keep in mind as far as making sure that their car seats are going to last and be safe?
Jamie: When it comes to cleaning, I think some people overthink this quite a bit. And they're like, if you write on the shell of your car seat, it ruins it or whatever. But we need to just follow the instructions. And, you know, some car seats, you can take this, the upholstery off and put in the washer and the dryer, some you can't, some you can just wash and you have to let air dry, some you have to hand wash everything, some you have to spot clean. So every seat is going to be different, but one of the best soaps that you can, you want to use like as gentle as possible soap, like we're not using vinegar on things, we're not using alcohol based cleaners. Dr. Bronner's baby, the Uncended, the Castile soap is very, very, very, very gentle. And you could just use that to spot clean. Like if you get vomit on the straps of the car seat, which happens frequently, you just wanna scrub that out with like a toothbrush and like put it in the sun and that will help a lot.
Jamie: And if it's really bad, you can always call the car seat manufacturer because more than likely you can get it them replaced.
Rachael: Oh, wow. Okay, that's good to know. So you shouldn't like take it off and put it in the washing machine.
Jamie: No, you never with harnesses specifically, you never want to submerge them and get them soaking wet. Ever. Okay. That makes a lot of sense.
Jamie: So the TikTok bathtub videos, you don't want to do that. No, no. I get tagged 500 times a day in them.
Rachael: I had a feeling that that was probably a no -no.
Jamie: when you're, and it's not just the harness, like you're so soaking, like, the foam in the shell of the car seat and that will ruin it.
Rachael: Right. It should be a no -brainer, but somehow it's not. What about, like, how long you can keep a car seat for? Is it just based on each individual car seat's, like, recognition or is there a certain number of years? Okay.
Jamie: Yeah, they expire, and usually it's six to eight to ten years. We didn't talk about storing your car seat, so storing 'cause you did bring that up. Let's go back to that. sidetracked a lot. But storing your car seat, you do want to keep it in more of a climate controlled situation. So if you live in a really, really hot area, you don't want to like throw it in your attic or keep it in your garage in the same with very cold. You don't want it in like very, very cold temperatures for prolonged periods of time.
Rachael: Okay. Is that why they say that when you travel with a car seat, if you check it, it gets ruined because it's too cold? Or is that another, is that a myth?
Jamie: Um, that basically checking it. So there's mixed, there's mixed ideas on checking car seats when you fly. And some companies now are okay with checking car seats, but the problem is, I fly a lot, and I take photos of what I see. And I have witnessed car seats getting thrown from the ground up into the cargo area I've been falling off on the concrete. I've witnessed them come down the, you know, luggage carousels and like a giant Samsonite lands on top of it. And like, I'm one of those people that, even though I know it's not mine, every time I see a car seat on the luggage carousel, I take it off the carousel immediately because I noticed that case is gonna hit it.
But the problem is you don't know what has happened to your seat when it's out of your sight. And if something... something happens and that shell gets cracked and the foam gets damaged, there might be destruction to the seat that you physically cannot see or would not be aware of. And that would compromise its safety features. Just try to try to take it on the seat, plane with you.
Rachael: That's a really good tip. What are some things that parents would want to look for that might not be super obvious? That would mean that they either need to like upgrade their seat, get it, you know. or replaced.
Jamie: I think just removing the upholstery, if you can, easily to just look at the foam in the seat and see if it's still intact. Some seats are more prone to this than others. If you see white or gray stress marks in the plastic, like the plastic has been bent or warped, that can compromise, and this is likely not going to happen. like on a fly. But if you see fraying in your harness at all, even with your seatbelt in your car, if any of that starts to fray, you have to get that replaced because it can shred and not be effective. And I actually have friends here, they were, their baby is like a year and a half old now. And I was helping them with their car seat and get it installed before their daughter came. And I was in their back seat, like walking them through everything. And I was like, y 'all, what is wrong with your seat belt? And they're like, our dog got a hold of it. You can't use this seat, even as a human adult, nobody can use this seat belt. It's not safe. You have to go get this replaced immediately. Certainly couldn't install a car seat with it.
Rachael: Okay, that's really good to know. Since you're talking about installation, this has been like one of the biggest parenting points of contention between my husband and I because he is on car seats. Like I don't know that much about our car seats. I don't really know how to install and uninstall them. I'm not proud of this. It's just like the one parenting thing that he has totally taken over since I do so much of the other stuff. And he's had to kind of teach himself, which is fine, but it's been very frustrating at times for him to learn how to properly install everything. What do you recommend for new parents? Do you think that a course is the most effective way to learn, YouTubing instructions, someone in person with you? What is the best way to learn how to do it safely?
Jamie: I think everybody learns differently. If you can take a course or go to a seat check from someone in your area, like... typically hospitals do them. You know if you go to safekids .org You can find a seat check station near you and normally they happen like once a month in a lot of cities And basically what happens is you pull in with your car seat and it can be brand new. It can already be installed, But we kind of go through on our sheet because we have to document everything. It's how we're covered for liability purposes. And so we go through to get the serial number of the car seat, the model, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If it was installed, where it was installed, how it was installed, what errors we see right off the bat looking at it, if any. And then we uninstall it. It's also a great time to clean your vehicle. And if you have a little dust buster, bring it with you to a car seat check because there is food in your car seat.
And when we take it out, you got goldfish and crap everywhere. So zip zip.
Rachael: Good point.
Jamie: But then we go through and, you know, assess the needs of that family and figure out where in the back seat it will install correctly and allow them to use it properly. And then we install it and then guide the caregivers through installing it. And we are not the last person to touch the seat. It has to be the caregiver so that they know what they're doing and also just from a liability standpoint.
Racahel: Okay.
Jamie: But that's a really good way to do it. Some people do have courses as well, and that's something I have been putting off, but I will be filming a car seat course.
Rachael: Yay. Oh my gosh, I'm excited.
Jamie: Chaos. Chaos.
Rachael: Yeah, building a course is a lot of work, but it would be amazing if you did. Yeah.
Jamie: And there are other people. You know, you've got like my friend. Holly and, you know, other CPSTs who do sell courses, but Holly's been on my back about it for quite some time and she's like, "You need one." Yeah. And like, I do all my in -person stuff, but it's different when you can like sit with me in a video and a slide show and I can walk you through things.
Rcahael: Totally. Yeah. It's just overwhelming and I think anything that can just kind of show a parent, okay. "Okay, relax, step by step, here we go," is what's needed because, like I said, there have been so many heated, we'll say, conversations between my husband and I during these new installations and I'm just, you know.
Jamie: Isn't it wild? I think the three most anxiety -producing moments of parenting is car seats, sleep and feeding.
Rachael: 100 %
Jamie: Like that's it. There's nothing else that is that chaotic. - No. - And like, you know, it's, you just, it's too much.
Rachael: It's too much. And one thing that I think about with this too is like, okay, my husband and I are on the same page with car seat safety. Like we feel very strongly about, you know, our seats being properly installed and using them correctly and all of that. But then what if you have other people who are also. also driving your kid? How do you make sure that they are taking the right precautions and installing their seats properly and stuff like that? So that adds like a whole another layer for people who have help with their kids too.
Jamie: Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. And like that's one of the things I get tagged in a lot.
And I actually, I made the mistake of getting back on cameo and people get me to make cameo videos for their family members to be like, Hey, just so you know, this kid still needs to rear facing when you pick them up. Oh, oh, it's absurd. And I don't do a lot of them because I don't promote it. Because like, I don't even know who did that. People find me and they send me videos and I'm just like, this is what's wrong and this is what's wrong and you need to adjust this and you need to fix that. Here's a website for you to go look at
Rachael: hysterical. Oh my gosh. I love it. How genius that way
Jamie: They're so weird and and it's also like not as public is like Tiktok responses,
Rachael: right like calling them out online. Yeah. Yeah, that's so funny. All right, we're gonna get to some listener questions now. We have a couple of really good ones
QUESTION 1: Hey there, so my question is about car seat safety in winter so I have a 10 month old and we live in Canada. So it gets really cold here and very snowy. I just don't know how to do winter and a car seat. So like I know you're not supposed to have a big puffy jacket or snowsuit or where to have you. So how do I get the baby from my house into the car? Oh also we live in an apartment. So we have street parking. So the car isn't always like two steps. So do I like put the baby in his snow suit? and then undress him? But the car isn't warm yet because we don't have a starter for the car. So it's cold. I just don't know how to do winter in a car seat. Please help. Thank you.
Jamie: So cold weather in car seats is always a problem. It's not easy. We don't want puffy jackets undercoats because of the extra air and there are some kind of puffy coats that we call packable coats like like, you know, you can get an REI or whatever that compress into little bitty bags for travel. Those tend to be a really good option as to, you know, fleece pullovers, hoodies, things like that, like thin form fitting layers.
The problem with a puffy jacket is, even if you get it as tight as you think you can, the G forces in a crash. will make that compress even more. And you will have sometimes two to three inches of extra slack in that harness, which means that it can slide off your kid's shoulders. They could be ejected. But also it keeps the harness from doing its job as quickly as possible. And that's the whole idea. There are three stages of a crash. There's vehicle collision. There's passenger collision inside the vehicle. Hopefully that's a passenger into a seatbelt or a five -point harness. And then there's the internal collision of the organs against the bone.
And so with a harness that is properly tightened, that means the harness is going to do its job faster by limiting how far forward the body moves and limits the internal organ movement as well. So if a harness is loose, you have more room to hit that harness for it to do its job, which means your organs will be traveling more and hitting your bones harder. So that's why harnessing is so important.
One of the reasons it's so important. But, you know, thin layers, when they get in the car, you can always buckle them properly and put a coat on over them backwards, or a blanket, or a car seat poncho. There are a couple coats on the market like one kid road coat and a buckle me baby coat. And those are both, I have a lot of personal experience with both of those coats with my nieces and nephews.

And they are both very good. But it is one of those like, you know, if you get it and it doesn't fit your kid properly and you're not able to get the harness correct, like it's not a good fit for you. So you still have to make sure the harness works. But yeah, winter is no fun.
Racahel: Yeah, winter is no fun. I don't miss the winter at all. I would, if it were me, I would probably keep like a little stash of blankets by the front door and a little stash of blankets in my car. And then that way I could just always have a blanket to like wrap baby up in to go back and forth and call it a day because
Jamie: you also don't want them to overheat and overheating in a car is also a big problem.
Rachael: I was going to say the same thing. Like you think that you want them to be super warm, but actually it's better if they're not too warm, especially if they're going to be in the car or sleeping for a long period of time. It can be a really big risk.
Jamie: Yeah, we don't, we don't get sick from being cold. Right.
QUESTION: Hi, my 12 month old hates getting into the car seat. But once he's in it, he's fine. But I just wanted to see if you have any tips on making this process better. Thank you.
Jamie: There's really not. Yeah, every kid is different. Like yeah, some people will bribe. bribe their kids, you know, but it's one of those things like it's an adaptive process sitting in a seat and a 12 month old. This actually just came up yesterday or the day before two days ago, somebody asked me about their baby hating their car seat. And this is very common. But also as kids go through growth spurts, specifically if they're still in an infant seat and at 12 months old, there is a chance a small small chance this child could be. So I'm just going to assume that this child is in an infant seat. You have to remember, as kids are at six months, typically they are sitting unassisted and able to sit up. And if they're being restrained into a seat like this, instead of a convertible, like reclined, I always forget podcasting, not a visual medium.
Rachael: I was just making hand gestures of being reclined and reclined. being upright.
Jamie: To recline. (laughing) If your kid is to recline, they're not going to be comfortable in the seat because they want to be able to see what's going on. So you may just want to put them in a convertible seat if they're not already and see if that helps. -
Rachael: Exactly, I have a car highlight on my Instagram page on HaysleepyBaby. So many people have said like, once they switch to a convertible seat from the infant bucket seat, things got so much better. - Game changer. Game changer. - So much more comfortable, so much more comfortable. more happy, depending on how verbal or how old your child is to like just kind of talking them through it. Like, yeah, I know, like, you don't have to, you know, make it this huge thing. Like, Oh my God, I know you hate the car seat so much because that's just gonna piss them off more. Right. You can just say, but it's also,
Jamie: it's kind of like my nieces when they were little, they would unbuckle their chest clips. My sister would pull over and she'd get me on FaceTime and I would talk to girls like why "Why you have to keep those clipped? Why are they important?" And not everybody has the option to get on FaceTime with Uncle Jamie, the car seat guy.
Rcahael: Can I have your number? Because we're going through that with my three -year -old right now and I don't know what to do.
Jamie: You don't. I will tell you there's a couple things. If you keep drawing attention to it, they are more likely to do it.. So if you just address like, "This is why it's important. It just needs to be here." And really talk to them. It doesn't have any to do with like the clip being too high or being too low and hurting your kid. It has to do with the harness positioning it on their shoulders properly. And so it's a pre -crash harness positioning device. And so other countries, they're not even legal because they have different standards and things are a little different.
Here we use them just to keep that harness here. And if it was too low, the harness would slide off their shoulders. So if you just talk about like the physics of it, um but there's also a trick called the Houdini shirt trick that you can Google once we're done.
And basically, you want a button -up shirt that might be only worn, you know, for a little bit in car trips until they get over this. But basically, you put it on the kid unbuttoned, harness them up, make sure everything is good, and then pull the shirt over the harness so that they can't get to it as easy.
Rachael: Okay. Okay. Yeah, because buttons were still working on buttons. So that might buy me some time. Yep. It is Jamie, like she's, she's just in a really tough phase right now in general, my three year old, but we had a really scary incident a couple weeks ago where we couldn't see her in the back of the car. We have a van. We thought we had left her where we were at a farmer's market. We were like, Oh, my God, where is she? We left her there… flipped out. She had unbuckled herself so silently and crawled into the back seat, or the trunk while we were driving. I can't even tell you how much we lost our minds. And we're like Googling, like, "Is there a safe way to lock your child's carseat?"
Jamie: There are a couple options for children with sensory processing needs. And, you know, as children get older, they're not approved for every car seat, unfortunately. Okay. But it's basically a chest clip that you replace on your harness. Okay. And it locks. But not every car seat will allow them. But the shirt will help. And like, that's a really good idea. The thing is, things happen. And, you know, this is just me playing devil's advocate.
Those of us who are very immersed in this, space, we understand that if your harness is properly tightened and it is done correctly, if something should happen where that chest clip is unbuttoned or something, that harness is still going to do its job. But unfortunately, a lot of people just don't harness correctly. And like mistakes happen, like your kid got out, when my niece's were babies and they were still in infant seats, this is my job. I've been doing this for almost 20 years.
And we went to Target once because when my nieces were born, I moved in with my sister and her husband for six months, helped take care of them. It was chaotic. I've never been so tired in my life, but it was the best time of my life. But we went to Target. We had them in the bucket seats. We're putting them back in the car. Everything is great. We drive from the Target back to Egan, Minnesota. And we get out of the car and I had not even buckled their harnesses on the car seats. We were so tired. Oh my god. You know, and I think that's what people don't understand is like in the beginning, you've never been more tired in your life.
And there are studies out that do suggest an overtired parent, it's like driving drunk. Yeah. You know.
Rachael: Well, and you hear these stories about like babies being left in the car because the parent just forgets that they're even there, they go to work, they forget that their baby's there, they didn't drop them at daycare, and they don't want to go to work, they don't want to go to work, they don't want to go to work. just completely forget. So yeah, I mean, it doesn't make you a bad parent when stuff like this happens. It's just, yeah.
Jamie: And I hate that people are villainized when that happens because most people do actually want the best for their kids. And like God forbid something happens like that. Like you are overtired. Your mind is a thousand different places and you have this new human in your house that you're getting used to and getting to know and your life is having to adapt. Like you have to give yourself some grace.
Rachael: Yeah, 100%. So yeah, even the quote unquote experts make these mistakes, you guys. So please don't beat yourself up. I could go on. I have a million other stories about car seat mishaps and just parenting in general mishaps. So you are not alone. But Jamie, thank you so much for getting us some really great things to think about and some great tips.
And I know that you are going on a little tour in 2024. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
Jamie: Yeah. So prior to COVID, I was constantly on the road. I was doing anywhere from like, I think the most amount of speaking gigs I did in one year was 49. Mm -hmm, mm -hmm, 49 in one year.
Rachael: Oh my God.
Jamie: So, Cocoa hit. Hits, Cocoa Head Plans and all of my speaking gigs disappeared. So, we started a virtual event series called Baby Registry Lab. I don't know how much we've done now. It's several, like we did like three one year, I think four or five or six one year, whatever. But then we partnered up with this like small boutique baby event called Babies and Bumps that's based out of Rochester and And I flew to Ohio when Bump Club announced Gira Palooza was over.
She saw that and she'd always wanted to work with me. So she got on a call with Lainey, my co -worker and dear, dear, dear friend, sister, family, got on a call. And I was like, I want to go see this event before we agree to partner. Because obviously to take this very seriously, I've done 300 to 350 speaking gigs over the years. I've done a lot.
So, if I'm going to partner, I'm going full throttle. And so, I went to check out the event and it was all, you know, local like consultants and doulas and OBGYNs and it was all very education driven, which is what I prefer. And I agreed on the spot. So, basically, we contract with brands where we have a booth for three hours at the event and we pick all the products specifically for different reasons, price points function, you know, whatever. And Lainey and I are both CPSTs. So people come into the booth, they get to see everything. And then I have an hour-long seminar at the end of the day on things like car seat safety and strollers and all of that shenanigan. And we have 13 of those in 2024. And they start in April.
Rachael: Yeah. Amazing. All right, well, I'll put that info in the show notes so people can come because that's really, really fun. Yeah, I would have loved to have gone to something like that as a new parent. So love it. Jamie, thank you so much for joining us. It's been really fun. I will look out for you at the next era's tour.

Jamie: Yes. Yes, you never know where I'm going to pop up at a Taylor Swift concert.
Rachael: Exactly. So if you have era's tickets, look out for Jamie because he's always going to be there.
Jamie: I will have a friendship bracelet or two. I go blind making friendship bracelets before the concerts and then your fingers hurt. Oh, man.
Rachael: It's a lot of work. I put my kids to work. I had my own little shop go in here.
Jamie: I had bracelets custom made. Did you see 'em? - Of course you did. - Did you see 'em? - I did, of course. - The purple ones, They're the best.
Rachael: Well, if you're lucky enough to get one, if you're listening, send it to me, please. Thanks, Jamie.
Jamie: Thank you.

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